My wife and I will be together eight years at the end of this month. We used to be Christmas freaks. I always loved the holidays before then. Something changed last year and while the source is gone the problem still remains.
My wife and I decided to help her brother and sister-in-law. They have four kids and were experiencing marital/financial problems. We took the kids in March of last year and had them through the end of the year. As Christmas rolled around last year, my wife and I got really excited. We don't have any children of our own. We were totally excited to celebrate with the kids and their family in our home. We worked and saved to make Christmas great for the kids. They knew by then that their parents were splitting up.
Traditionally we go out of town for Christmas to visit both our families. That year with the kids we stayed home. We went to my parent’s house on Christmas Eve for dinner and fun. On the way back home we were involved in a terrible car accident. We were basically ok but my wife and I were sore for weeks. Our car was totaled. The kid’s parents and grandparents were at our house, so the gifts and setup was all done for the morning. However, I put so much of myself into selecting gifts for the children and was not able to experience the joy. I was in extreme pain and was taking heavy pain killers and muscle relaxers. I just missed it. What I was awake for I can't remember. If I had it to do over again I am sure I would have endured the pain to share in their joy.
The kids left to go live with their parents a couple of days later. Two went one way and two went the other.
This season is here and I just don't have that same magic I normally do. I don't really care if Christmas passes me by this year, and I hate it. Maybe someday the wife and I will be successful in our attempt to have children and the magic will return, but for now I seemed to be doomed to exist through the season, try not to be a grinch, and patiently wait for my Christmas joy to return.