I finally get it
Published on April 20, 2005 By just john In Parenting
I have watched my nephew play baseball for a few years now from the sidelines. This year I was asked to help coach the team and it has made me understand a few things.

Parents get really serious about their kids sporting events. Some keep it to themselves others are vocal and find themselves in the car for the game. I never understood how they could get so irate. After all, it's only a game. My nephew plays in the most popular league in our area. They play more games than any other league and that is what you want. It's no fun to practice for three months and only play eight games. These are the serious parents and I know why. We don't practice as much as some of the other teams, but a regular weeks schedule goes like this:

Sun. - Off
Mon. - Off
Tues - Practice from 6:00pm to 7:30pm or batting practice and then a game (about three hours start to finish)
Wed - Practice from 6:00pm to 7:30pm
Thurs - Off
Fri. - Game @ 6:00pm or 7:45pm including batting practice before the game (no game if we play two on Saturday)
Sat. - One or two games and batting before

We spend over nine hours a week playing and practicing. This is all done after work hours so every parent has already put in a full day of labor. Most of our parents drive some distance to get to practice or games and neither location is exactly close to anything. The average drive time is about thirty minutes one way. That makes an extra four hours a week they invest in their child’s sport. Add to that, regular drills at home and it is easy to see where you can put twenty hours a week into your child’s sport. This is a part time job to see your kid play baseball. One that you get no pay from except to see your child happy, a reward immeasurable in mere dollars and cents.

Now, these baseball parks are not well funded. Parents volunteer to man the concession stand for five hour shifts. The parents, kids and coaches clean the park on a regular basis. I am sure that the whole thing barely breaks even. The park hires the umpire and refs, and they are usually high school aged kids looking to earn a few bucks. Here lies the problem. I don't know many high school aged kids that are all that mature. They routinely make bad decisions. That's not a bad thing; it's just part of life. These kids are left to make calls that are not always with the popular vote. If they did their job and made sure they were paying attention to all that was going on and not to the fact that their girlfriend was sitting in the stands waiting on them to get off so that they can go get busy or whatever it is they do, I think there would be a lot less upset parents at games.

Last night we had two parents ejected from the game because they expressed their disgust over a bad call. The entire ball field agreed that this kid was safe (other team included). The ref calls him out. He is OUT. Game over! We are only down by two runs and our boys have been busting their butts. The parents have picked up a part time job to make sure their kid has a good time.

Let's face it, loosing sucks. The kids know it. They are competitors and victory always tastes better than a bitter defeat. When a parent gets a little heated over a bad call, I believe that they should set a good example and bite their tongue. BUT! I get it. As a coach, I have to make sure I keep my team going. As a mentor, I have to be a good role model. As an uncle, I just get pissed off but keep it to myself.

Comments
on Apr 20, 2005
Man what a silly thing parents can be. I know from experience. This is no joke. When I was playing hockey way back when, there was no body contact. Then the final year (it turned out) they decided to allow body checking. I am a very tall guy, more so back then since lots of guys never got bigger and taller until later. This is when I was 12ish by the way. Anyways, I was the biggest guy in the league (so others said) and I had the hardest shot in the league (so said opposing goalies), but there was only one problem. I only liked playing the game. Anyways, they allow body contact and on DAY 1 the coaches called me out into the hall to talk alone. They said that since there is body contact I should start to use some muscle and get tough in the corners etc... Even then I was sheepish about doing violence, and right after they said that they said I was to be named captain of the team. For compensation or something stupid like that. So it's game 1. We were playing the Sabres as I recall. The right winger ( I was always defence only for the muscle in our corner and the point shot from their blue line) was coming out of his end and I went in and knocked him off the puck with less force than I expected. Less force i.e not even trying to hit him seriously and deliberately hard. He went down much to my surprise. I felt bad. Then after the game a few jerk parents come up to me to tell me how great I hit that kid and how the 'boards moved back a foot' when I bumped him. They were enthusiastic to the point where it actually made them happy. So here I am, the biggest guy in the league, being asked to try hurt other kids. After that game I don't think I deliberately hit anyone again. My problem is that I love hockey to the core of my soul, but I just can't see what hitting and punching players has to do with trying to put a black rubber puck into a net. The local junior games here, I'm the only one telling my kids (loudly so other losers would hear me) that so-and-so missed the puck because he went for the body. That you have to play the puck and let the other dumb meathead waste his time trying to line up a player for a hit. You see it all the time. They go into the corner, and the one guy bypasses the puck so he can hit the other player. So I'm yelling "PLAY THE PUCK" while others are yelling for some more hits, the worse the better if you know what I mean. Parents are a-holes when they try make their kids get the glory that so easily passed them by when they were young. Like the 5 year old beauty pageant mothers, living a dream through their unwitting kids. Sickening.
on Apr 20, 2005
While that is an all too often incident these days. It is hardly the case we are dealing with. All of the parents on all of the teams want a good fair game. These kids put thier heart and soul out there and if it is a win it should be a win.

My point is that the kids who are calling the game just don't care. I wan't to see a good game win or loose. I would be happy to see my guys walk off the field of battle with a loss if they left all they had on the field. They do it. They play thier little hearts out. It is amazing!

I just want all of the teams to be treated fairly. I want an out to be an out and if the kid is safe he is safe. However, because the official can't keep his mind in the game these boys get cheated out of a chance at victory.
on Apr 20, 2005
I thought it was neat how you describe the game as a battlefield. To my mind, that may been the problem with the rowdy parents I had mentioned. If I were a coach (I coached 5 year old t-ball but whatever) I'd make sure the emphasis was on having fun, at least if it's young kids we're talking about. And I know it's not just idle chatter, as it were a campaigning politician spewing out lies and promises over how they'll clean up the goverment and bring the voice back to the people blah blah blah. I know I would do it. Having fun paramount, winning only icing. As for kids refeerees and whatnot. I refed a couple hockey games when I was super little. Wow, I never really thought about that but I was super young, like 10 or so. I don't recall if I made any mistakes or bad calls, but the point is that it's not professional so if some young kid misses a call because he was checking out the hot milf standing right on the other side of the boards in front of him, that's ok. Overall, the one thing I emphasize when dealing with a ref's bad judgement/decision/call, is that it can and does happen to both sides with no overt signs of favoritism. The exception is the Canada Women's Gold Medal game against the US. Like 13 penalties against Canada and maybe 1 against the US..